It seems I am most faithful to blog when I have cancer. I’m also more faithful to pray for others, to pray for myself, to search the scriptures and to strive to memorize them. Cancer, or I guess any need in my life that is bigger than my ability, drives me to seek the LORD more diligently. Why is that? Why do I and so many others lack the discipline to pursue Him with passion daily? I have a daily quiet time. I pray daily. I even read non-fiction books about God. But pursuing him with passion, deep pursuit with all that I have in me only comes with the difficult times. That is the FIRST benefit to having to deal with cancer again.
The SECOND benefit is extra time. Not that I have more than the twenty-four hours I had before but, I am not driven to do things that don’t matter. Unfortunately I can’t do all of the things I want to do either. There is down time. Thanks to chemo and anti-nausea meds I will rest more. While I may not be able get out as much and see everyone, I will spend more time on the phone and texting with friends. It’s not the same but, I am so thankful for technology and for my friends and family! Thanks for reaching out as you’ve heard the news! You have lifted my spirit.
The THIRD benefit is building more compassion. Some of you may remember that I scored a -3 on the mercy section of a Spiritual Gifts test once. I know what your thinking, “Can you really score a negative number on a Spiritual Gifts test?” The answer is “Yes!” I am not exaggerating for effect. I took the test again one year after and I am proud to say I moved up to a zero. I improved, not as much as I wanted to but, I had improved. I hope that cancer has changed that in me. I hope that I see others hurts more clearly and quickly and that I do my part to help. Those are just the first three benefits I see. I’m sure there will be more.
When all this began again I was asking God to show me a verse on trust. Check out Psalm 118. Be blessed as you thank Him for His love that endures forever. Praise Him! Thanks for being on the journey with me.