Abundantly His

It seems that for the past two years and two months my prayer has been the same. “Lord, please heal this cancer”. Sometimes the words have changed to “kill this cancer” or “remove the cancer”, but the gist is the same. I wonder if the repetition means that I lack faith or does it mean that I am the old lady going to the judge and begging to be heard. (Luke 18:5) Sometimes it might even be a little bit of both. Either way, I pray Psalm 86:3 “Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.” and into the night. God is faithful to hear my cry. He shows up with the perfect scripture at just the right moment to encourage me. He takes care of all the details months before we even need Him to as we’ve recently learned.

Surgery is scheduled for July 8. So next week will be busy; Pre-op blood work and CT Scan to assist the surgeon in making sure he gets the right lymph nodes will all be needed. The original date for surgery was going to be in August, but was moved up when chemo stopped working as effectively as they hoped. So now surgery is scheduled for the same week as camp for my older two kids and for Hayden who will chaperone one of the camps. Here’s the God part. For the first time in five years we decided to change the locations of the camp. It is less than an hour from the hospital. We are also taking one more chaperone than the camp required so the children will be well covered. All of this took place before this cancer was even discovered. God knew in advance that the surgery would need to come early and he took care of all the details for Hayden to be able to go to camp with Grace and for Hayden to be able to be with me for the surgery. My mom and dad are coming up to be with us. So I’ll have help before and after surgery. One of my dearest friends, who is also a nurse, is going to be able to spend the night with me in the hospital. I will receive double the great care while in the hospital. God is in the details especially when life is hard. He shows mercy even before we ask for it. Our God is so good!

What about you? Could you use some of God’s mercy? undeserved favor? grace? love? forgiveness? Are you crying out for the same thing over and over? I hope you will choose to focus on Jesus and not the circumstances of life. Look for His mercy in the midst of the trials. What has God already given? Where is He at work? God is bigger than the greatest struggle and He is able to bring mercy to any situation.

Those of you who have followed this blog for any length of time know that I am a goal setter. I love writing down a list of things to accomplish and it is absolutely thrilling to be able to mark a “big” one off the list when it is complete. The problem is that for the past three years the “big” one is still on my list. I simply can’t seem to get it finished. I’ve tried setting smaller goals to help finish it, but I still haven’t been able to cross it off the list. My passion for it simply waxes and wanes.

Why does the project remain incomplete? The simple answer seems to be that I lack determination, focus, and a passion for it. Or maybe I’m too busy, it’s not the most important thing in my life right now or there are too many other things vying for my attention. Who knows what the real reason is, but one thing is for sure it is not too big a goal. For with God all things are possible.

Can you relate? If so, join me in answering a few questions. Is the project something in which God wants me to be involved? Is it going to help me grow? Will it help me show respect for God, my family, other authorities in my life, and myself? If the answers are yes then, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:2-3. Fixing our eyes on Jesus who for the joy set before him endured much more than you or I will ever have to suffer and considering Him who finished the task that he came to earth to do will encourage us to get to work and complete the task that he has called us to do.

Lord, I pray you will renew our passions for the work you’ve called us to do. If we are to make a change, reveal it to us and point us in the right direction. Help us fix our eyes on you and not turn our gaze elsewhere. In your name Jesus and by your power, Amen.

It has taken me weeks to write something worthy of allowing others to read. Even after I wrote this I wondered if I should post it. Finally, I decided I had to get back to it. Chemo is working. I’m choosing to believe God for healing, but Satan is attacking my resolve and my mind. He is the Father of lies and I’m doing my best not to believe any of them.

Mother’s Day 2016 was very similar to Mother’s Day 2014. My children were amazing. I was still felling the lingering effects of chemo. I told myself “I just want one good picture to post on facebook.” Hayden and the kids got my day started off right with beautiful cards both homemade and store bought and great presents. Then off to church they went. I stayed home and had church with Charles Stanley.

When they got home we all headed to my in-laws for the men to grill out and make homemade ice cream for the ladies. I was blessed beyond measure in spite of the nausea and exhaustion. I ate lunch and took my first of two naps in front of “Fixer Upper” on HGTV. The kids played baseball with their cousins.

It was a perfect Mother’s Day except on Monday when I got on FB and saw all of the incredible pictures with the moms and their kids and realized we didn’t take a single picture. I ran my hands through my hair and clumps of it fell out. “Bald to be round three”, I thought. Satan was working in overdrive. Jealousy, envy and then praise the LORD the TRUTH stepped in. Words of blessing, encouragement, forgiveness, mercy and love were wrapped in the leather of my Bible. Romans 8:1-3 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”

Praise Him. I thank God for how he stepped in and changed my attitude. I went back through all of those wonderful, beautiful Mother’s Day pictures and thanked God for my fb friends, their moms and their children. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the women God has placed in my life who have pointed me towards him. Blessed beyond measure that is what I am.

I finally got that picture I longed for on May 13.

I want to thank you for your prayers for me and my family. God has been good to us during this latest battle. He has known what we needed and provided. Last Thursday was a rough day, yet God in His love provided.

Our Pastor, Coye Still, spoke last Wednesday night on Hosea 2:15. I know some of you are thinking Hosea 2:15? It says, “There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth as in the day she came up out of Egypt.” In these verses, Hosea is prophesying that Israel will be restored to God. The Valley of Achor can be translated as the Valley of Trouble was going to become a door of hope.

I went to bed thinking that it is just like God to offer us hope as we walk through the Valley of Trouble. I woke the next morning and what should I read in my devotional Bible, but Joshua 7, where the Valley of Achor is first mentioned. Achan had sinned and the people of Israel brought him to the Valley of Achor and put him to death because of the sin he had committed against God. That is a tough thing for us to accept that God’s perfect holiness cannot be where sin is. Romans 6:23 reads, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Our sin deserves death, but out of His rich love for us God provides a way. He sends His One and Only Son to die for us. The perfect, Son of God dies a sinners death in order that we may know God as Father.

As I finished my devotional reading I had no idea what a Valley of Trouble the day was going to be.

1. God is good. He provided a word about HOPE before the word on the Valley of Trouble

I began thinking what should I fix for breakfast. I immediately thought of a spinach omelet. Knowing the kids would need more to make it through the day until lunch I thought “Omelet with biscuits.” I asked the Lord if I should have a biscuit too. I know that may seem silly, but I have to monitor my carbs carefully as I’m a type 1 diabetic. The Spirit responded, “eat the biscuit.” I’ve never heard the Spirit of God tell me to “eat a biscuit.”

Hayden and I arrived at the Doctor’s office and were told that the chemo is not working. The tumor was growing. I would not receive the second dose. I would have a different, harsher chemo beginning the next day and that we needed to have a CT scan done to rule out a blood clot in my lungs. Then the nurse said, “Don’t eat anything until after the CT Scan.”

2. God is good to allow Hayden the ability to leave work and meet me for every Doctor’s appointment.

3. God is good to allow another friend, Laurin, to be there with me as I wait to find out when the CT will be occurring.

4. God is good to sustain me literally with food as my CT would not be scheduled until 3:30 that afternoon.

I arrived at home with about fifteen minutes to spare before picking up my youngest. I began to slip into discouragement and I thought I’m going to listen to some Christian music. The Spirit whispered “Kari Jobe” in my ear. I put her CD in and began to listen. I only had time to listen to two songs, but read the words to the first two on the CD.

I’m Singing

by: Kari Jobe, Ed Cash and Chris Tomlin

Only One Name lasts forever. Only one Fame stands alone. Only one King has an anthem that goes on and on and on.

And I’m singing to the God who brings redemption to the nations. Kings and oceans bow to Him in praise. And I’m singing to the God Who wrote the book on our salvation…to the One who covers me in grace, I’m singing.

Only One Word in the beginning. Only one Truth will prevail. Only one Love brings a freedom. Only one Man took the nails.

Praise, praise to the Savior. Praise to the Lamb of God. Praise in all of His splendor. Praise for saving my life.

Healer

by: Mike Guglialnucci

You hold my every moment. You calm my raging seas. You walk with me through fire and heal all my disease. I trust in You. I trust in You.

I believe You’re my healer. I believe You are all I need. I believe You’re my portion I believe You’re more than enough for me. Jesus, You’re all I need.

Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for You.

You hold my world in Your hands.

5. God encourages!

Thursday ends with me leaving around 2:30 p.m. to go for a CT. Four hours later after enduring two failed attempts to use my port, five more failed attempts at finding a vein in my right arm, and one successful attempt in my left the CT was finished. Two more hours to eat dinner, go to two different drug stores to get the prescription needed to take before chemo the next day and finally I arrived home. God had proven his love one more time to me by giving my friend, Erin, who was willing to walk the hard afternoon with me.

6. God provides yet again!

No matter what we face, Our God is with us. He never leaves or forsakes us. Praise Him for His faithfulness. Thank you for your prayers. I will do my best to write when I can. Thank you for your constant prayers! The Lord is faithful and He is able to do anything even the impossible. May His will be done in my life and yours.

Yesterday was my youngest birthday and love was poured out on her all day long. It began with presents from each of her siblings and parents, presents from Grandparents who were visiting and her Aunt Elizabeth. Then she enjoyed the meals of her choosing for the day. It went on with phone calls and birthday wishes from family far away. She smiled all day long. She felt love lavished upon her to the point of being overwhelmed by it all. My Mom shared some scriptures from First John 3 after breakfast. Read the beginning of verse one “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 

This morning I have been reading in Romans 8:35 and 37-38. “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?…But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

These verses are indescribably marvelous. Meditate on them and allow them to sink into the depths of your being.

YOU ARE LOVED!

And there is nothing that will ever change that fact! It is the truth of God. What an encouragement these verses are to those who believe in the Lord Jesus!

If you have yet to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, I encourage you get to it, do not delay. His love and kindness abound. 

Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 10:9-10 “That if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

Romans 10:13 “for, Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

A simple prayer like this will change your life. “God, I know that I am a sinner in need of Jesus. He is the perfect Son of God who brings salvation to all who ask. Lord, I’m asking for you to forgive my sins. I’m turning my life over to your leadership. Come into my heart and fill me with your Holy Spirit. Jesus save me. In your name I pray, Amen.” 

If you pray that prayer, tell someone. Go to the pastor at your local church and get involved with a Bible based fellowship of believers.

Allow God to lavish you with His love today. Spend some time in His Word. Download You Version and get started on your spiritual journey with Jesus. I believe He will not disappoint, but instead will meet you where you are and bless you as you study His Word.

Well, we are at it again as several of you have already heard. A new lump, in a new spot, and yet again God has shown mercy and it is not showing up anywhere else. A “new primary” is what one doctor called it. Each time we’ve faced chemo the Lord has given me a verse or a song to cling to during the treatment and this time is no different.

Chemo #1 – I AM by David Crowder

Chemo #2 – Psalm 118, specifically verses 17-18 “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done. The LORD has chastened me severely but he has not given me over to death.”

Chemo #3 – Genesis 15

I believe that Abram and I have something in common. Our circumstances need God’s intervention in order to bring about our desires.

Abram wanted a child and yet he didn’t have one and his wife Sarah were beyond child bearing years. God promised to give him not only one child, but so many that he could not count them all. In Genesis 15:6 we’re told that “Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.”

I want long life and to be able to watch my children grow up. God has not written out a covenant promise in scripture for me other than this, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28

Now, before you think I am miss representing scripture, don’t think that I believe that these scriptures are saying God is going to grant me thirty more years on earth like I hope. No, I believe that God knows what is best for the big picture. He knows what will be best for His Kingdom and for His glory. I do believe He is able and willing to grant me long life, but even if He doesn’t He will allow only what is best for me and my family. So, I believe God for healing and long life.

You can trust Him with your future too. He is able to handle whatever you are facing today whether it is of your own making or something that has been handed to you. God is not surprised by anything that you face. He longs to help you with your challenge. Will you bow your will to His and believe?

Psalm 63:3 “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.”

Today is my birthday! 44!!! Wow! The years have gone by fast. I can remember as a child thinking 28 was so old. Now, 88 seems too young. So I am offering God a gift of obedience today by writing a blog and telling Him in writing how thankful I am for all of His good gifts. Maybe you can make your own list. Have a great day!

1. Salvation through Jesus!
2. Love
3. Family – Hayden, Coleman, Grace and Rachel
4. Christian parents and in-laws
5. Sisters and Brothers by birth and marriage
6. Friends!
7. a clean house (still working on that one, but I do enjoy it)
8. Surprise Birthday cards and presents after you have said the Shed will be enough. (Hayden is building a shed for me so we can reclaim the garage.)
9. Good teachers for my children at school and church
10. My kids friends
11. Piano music being practiced
12. Watching someone learn to read
13. Watching a child grasp a new subject and being turned on to learning
14. Seeing joy on someone’s face.
15. Shopping
16. Gentle answers
17. Truth
18. Christian faith lived out
19. Words…kind and powerful
20. Other people’s birthdays to celebrate
21. Funny email birthday cards sent from the other side of the world. lol
22. Clear Scans and good test results
23. New Projects
24. A Good Sermon on Jesus
25. Praise music
26. Singing said praise music at the top of my lungs in the privacy of my car
27. Facebook Birthday Wishes
28. New Babies
29. Medicine that heals
30. Buying presents for others
31. A good book
32. A good movie to watch with my family
33. A deep spiritually focused phone call with my mom
34. A good conversation with a friend
35. Diet coke
36. Long walks
37. Bible Drill Students who memorize 26 verses and all move on to Regionals
38. Church
39. God’s Faithfulness
40. The beach
41. The mountains
42. Being at home on the farm
43. Texts (even though I sometimes don’t see them until the next day)
44. Weekend Retreats

Oh my list is not in order according to importance and it could continue, but I must get moving to enjoy lunch with my husband. What a great start to another year. Thank you friends and family for making it special. May the Lord bless us all with a great year!

Confession is good for the soul. I am not talking about confession as a time to go and talk to a priest or your best friend. I am referring to time spent in prayer asking God to forgive the sins that you have committed against him. The other night I woke with a sharp pain in the middle finger of my right hand. Arthritis strikes again for the second night in a row. Immediately my mind turned from arthritis to cancer concerns. Grace had told me earlier that day that she wanted to make it to 6th grade before cancer came back. I told her I was hoping and praying for 30 cancer free years.

I was determined to have victory over the interruption to my sleep. To do that I had to move from worry to prayer. I asked the Lord so you want me to get up now? It was after all three a.m. Psalm 56 came to mind. I got up and immediately read through the Psalm. As always I looked for a verse about good health. God once again did not disappoint. Verse 13 reads, “For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.” Yea! But there was more. I began reading through the song again.

The first phrase in verse one wowed me. “Be merciful to me, O God” I was cloaked in my hot pink prayer shawl partly because I sought to meet with God and partly because I was chilled. I thought about my need for mercy and began asking God to forgive me for my worry, for my judgmental attitude, forgive me for my unkind words, pride and even my overeating.

At this point I got extremely hot. Like hot flash hot for those who understand that terminology. I was just about to throw off my shawl when I thought to myself, “Satan does not like it when I confess my sin to the Lord.” Why? Because I am closest to the Lord when I am freshly cleaned. When I acknowledge my sin before him I am forgiven and most like his son Jesus who never sinned. I wrapped up tighter in my prayer shawl and enjoyed his prescience as I read through Isaiah 6:5-7. “Woe to me!’ I cried. ‘I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I like among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.’ Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touch my mouth and said, ‘See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” Jesus has already atoned for my sin, but there is cleansing with confession. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.” I John 1:9-10.